The Samurai Shopper | The Grouch Potato
Where’s the award show for all the award shows? Inquiring minds — like the Samurai Shopper’s — want to know. I’m gobsmacked by the sartorial parade I see on TV: Marchesas, McQueens, outrageous Minaj-eries on the overstyled and underfed. Add Fashion Week and the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and we could die from so much beauty. It’s enough to turn any realist into a grouch potato.
As Oscar night looms, grouch potatoes start grousing about the flat-lining careers of past winners like Mira Sorvino, Halle Berry and Cuba Gooding Jr. We prefer celebrating Cary Grant, Roz Russell, Hitchcock, Garbo, Kurosawa, Kubrick and other screen legends overlooked by Academy voters. The Samurai Shopper awards will not ignore the maestros who toil to perfect makeup, skin care and other beauty treats that prettify everyday life. But first I’d like to thank Mom and Dad for not having a cow when I poured peroxide on my head years ago, and you fans who’ve put me where I am today: on the couch, prone, nursing Cuvée Sauvage, a yeasty chardonnay from California.






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