Your 2012 Academy Awards Live Blog
Okay people, let's do this. I got a bottle of Sangiovese and ten of my bestest galpals with me, and I am prepared to dispense MAXIMUM BITCHINESS. Your host tonight is Billy Crystal, whom you almost certainly haven't seen since the LAST time he hosted the Oscars. Don't be shocked if he walks out onto the stage looking like Miracle Max, only covered in bad foundation makeup and without the hat. Your Best Picture nominees are as follows:
• Mel Brooks' Silent French Movie
• 9/11 Treasure Hunt
• Horsey Gump
• Clooney In Flip-Flops
• Nerdy Stat Nerds
• Annie Hall, Part 36
• Pretty Shots of Tall Grass
• The Nanny Diaries: The Jim Crow Years
• Real Steel Prequel Directed by Martin Scorsese






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Two young guys slink past: skinny jeans, nice haircuts and over-the-shoulder courier bags. “Probably gay,” I observe. She agrees, but only on the basis that they were checking me out. “Because, well, you look a bit metrosexual yourself.



